Stasis

"Stasis" - 4' x 5' acrylic & pastel - from the series "Journey Into Intimacy" 

Heart pounding, I calm my breathing so that I can begin. I also start to plan the following day's work by preparing large watercolor sheets with gesso so they're ready to go first thing.

I sit a moment gathering strength for the work to be done - all encompassing, all consuming. "I wanna feel good, soul sister." (lyrics from "Street Faerie")

What does love feel like? Floating, diving, still, fast, slow, penetrating, dreaming, hard, soft, and then stasis.

How to enter the water? Be the water.

Musical Inspiration: Massive Attack - "Protection", Sinead Lohan - "No Mermaid", Cree Summer - "Street Faerie", The Primitives - "Pure".

Journey into Intimacy


I'm painting again. It's back to a more physical way of being - painting puts me in touch with my body, movement and physical expression and is a form of ecstasy and release. I paint to music, loud music and this also sets a mood, a tone, a feeling.

This new series of paintings begun on Monday, November 19th are a journey for me into intimacy. I am painting and writing together - the one engenders the other, not sure in what order.

This latest is titled "Arrow of Pain" and with it comes Realization. Going deeper, more intimate, more, more, more. What does it mean? Being scared, but of what? Facing all the pain that intimacy has engendered over the years, facing all the mistakes, the regrets, the paths taken. Going into and beyond the hurt to reach the other side. Going deeply into feeling, so deeply that one fears getting lost inside.

I face my alone-ness every day. Some days it hurts. Some days I can work through it. Today I paint through it because I feel the pain more acutely. We are always truly alone and it hurts.

Musical Inspiration: Paul Van Dyck, Bjork, Loreena McKennitt, Tori Amos, 80's pop.
The first painting in this series is titled "Finding My Wings" and is here.

Finding My Wings

Some quotes from my last blog post: "It feels like going out on a metaphorical limb or jumping off a cliff. It's exciting and very scary, but so is life and the challenge of living it fully.

So here I go...dear Goddess grant me wings!"

Today I think I found my wings, at least for today. I painted again after taking a hiatus of several months - but today it just came pouring out of me and I couldn't stop it - tears, pain and paint melding into one gorgeous painting experience four hours long and worth every hot second (whatever that means!)

My studio had been shut down as I had packed everything away ready for a move to San Francisco that never happened and today I unpacked it all, taped my watercolor sheets to the wall, primed them and set out my acrylics and pastels, inks, brushes, gutta and all the lovely assorted accoutrements that accompany a painting life.

I'm back in action again while the spirit moves me. Goddess thank you for today's wings - what kind of bird do you think I've painted? I'm not sure, but if you think you know please tell me!

By the way, the painting roughly measures five feet by four feet and consists of 3 large sheets of watercolor paper taped side by side.

Musical inspiration: Delerium, Prince, The White Stripes.

St. Lawrence College Alumni Magazine - I'm featured in the Spring 2009 issue!

I was thrilled to be featured in the Spring 2009 Alumni News section of Voyageur, my College Alumni Magazine.


Lulu lives on

HOW ALUMNA KATHY CRABBE’S CLASSROOM ASSIGNMENT 16 YEARS AGO CONTINUES TO INSPIRE AND GUIDE HER | BY JANINE FOSTER

A LITTLE BIT of St. Lawrence College lives in the heart of California wine country. Her name is Lulu, and she’s been an inspiration to Kathy Crabbe (Graphic Arts ’92) ever since she came to life in a Kingston classroom over 15 years ago. Since creating her for an assignment in one of her Graphic Design courses many years ago, Lulu became Kathy’s mascot and her muse – inspiring this alumna’s creative work since graduation. In fact, Kathy – and Lulu – came to our attention at Voyageur when a blogger raved about her beautiful and whimsical artwork, which she sells online at www.luludesign.com

Kathy came to St. Lawrence after obtaining her degree in Art History from Queen’s University. She was looking for a way to turn a lifetime of creativity into a career, but graduating in the recession of the early 1990s, she found it difficult to find a full-time job in Graphic Design. Which turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

"I never really wanted to work for somebody else,” says Kathy with a chuckle. "It doesn’t suit me." While she credits her courses at St. Lawrence for teaching her how to make a living, the fact that she was able to sample various elements of graphic design through part-time, freelance and project work in the early years after graduation showed her that working for herself was her goal.

"The critiquing part of Graphic Design was really helpful because it prepares you for showing your work," says Kathy, who sells both online and at the very large art shows that are a large part of the California art scene.

Lulu evolved into other forms of expression, until one day, the right handed Kathy decided it was her left hand’s turn to create. Or, as she likes to put it, "my right hand lost its sense of humour" and the Lefties were born.

These whimsical characters have caught on – actor Will Ferrell has one in his collection – and helped inspire her next business move: the introduction of an online Soul Reading service, where traditional Tarot Cards are replaced by her custom created card decks – including the Lefties.

A lifelong interest in the metaphysical, combined with the welcoming culture of California made it easy for Kathy to turn her interest into what is now the fastest growing part of her business. Her online Soul Readings are performed for clients around the world, but it’s something she recognizes would have been difficult to launch in Eastern Ontario. "Here there’s a lot more openness to alternative ways to look at life," says Kathy.

While she has thrived in California Kathy still has a soft spot for Eastern Ontario and is currently building a cottage in Gananoque. "Someday I’d like to see us spend six months at the Cottage and six months in California," she says.

One guess which six months.