I have decided not to pursue creating a Tarot Deck. I find that I cannot work with another divination system such as Tarot, even one with a 600 plus year history and thousands of books written about it.

As a psychic and card reader I work primarily with clairvoyance (clear seeing) by receiving visions and channeling the ancestors, spirit guides and past lives along with astrology. When I work with divination cards during a Soul Reading I do NOT look at the cards until AFTER the reading is done to see if it confirms what I received in the reading.

Tarot card reading is a system that does not require psychic ability, although one can definitely apply psychic insight to any reading. Tarot cards are rich in symbolism, archetypal imagery and patterns. But I find that I still draw a blank when I look at the Minor Arcana. Why? Because it is NOT a tool that resonates with me even after 40 plus years of exploring Tarot. I don’t relate to the numbers, suits, court cards or symbols. They are not MY system.

You could ask, “Why not try a Tarot Deck that resonates with your sensibilities rather than a traditional deck such as the Rider-Waite-Smith deck?” I have! I enjoy feminist circular Tarot decks such as Motherpeace Tarot by Vicki Noble and Karen Vogel and the Daughters of the Moon Tarot by Ffiona Morgan. These decks interpret the Tarot in a radical way, changing some of the suits, court cards and number of cards in the deck, but they are still using the Tarot system.

While talking with my good friend, Chad Woodward, an astrologer and tarot reader I realized it was cognitive dissonance I was experiencing and it was definitely SHADOW MATERIAL which is why I felt so uncomfortable. Shadow material refers to aspects of our personality that are buried, repressed and hidden within our unconscious mind. Integrating this material is uncomfortable and can even be traumatizing.

I experienced this Shadow-ey Cognitive Dissonance speaking about Tarot. The words coming out of my mouth did not match what was going on in my head. I desperately wanted to LOVE Tarot and I did, in my mind, but when I described the process of intuitively creating my own oracle decks my voice lit up with emotion and excitement but my head was saying, I must create a Tarot deck.

So far, I’ve already created five oracle decks but had yet to create a Tarot deck. I realize now that I MUST be my own authority and listen to my own intuition and soul guides in regards to making a divination deck. I CANNOT use someone else’s system.

This sense of wrongness and dissonance is also emphasized in my astrological birth chart (Sun conjunct Uranus/Pluto opposing Saturn in the 12th) and in my birth itself. I was given up for adoption as a baby, never having seen my birth mother’s face.  Not only was the rug swept out from under me, but there wasn’t even a floor!  I have always had to make my own way, create my own world and re-invent the wheel, so to speak.

All this cognitive dissonance regarding oracle decks vs. tarot decks really hit home in a recent tarot class I took from artist/reader/tarot teacher Rebecca Schoenecker.  We were to analyze three Tarot cards in a spread. I felt NOTHING. I immediately wrote in my journal “NO ON TAROT”. I also recall that during a Past Life Regression, my elf self was killed for not listening to my intuition and here I was doing it again!

So far I have created six divination decks and each one is very different: Fairy/Cat Herbals, Zodiac Goddesses, Elfin Allies (Animal Spirits), Lefties and now Mermaids. Each deck is used in a specific way in my soul readings. We always teach what we need to learn, it is said. I am always learning more about how to trust my intuition and that is what I teach. “Work that muscle,” I tell my clients and students, and learn to trust that inner voice; be it from God, Goddess, the Divines, the ancestors, astrology, past lives, spirit guides, your gut, whatever you choose to call it. It is a talent much under used and disrespected in our current culture. We need it now more than ever.

Remember, to work with whatever feels right for you in regards to the psychic realms. Trust your self and your intuition. You are being guided, every step of the way.

About Kathy Crabbe

I've been an artist for as long as I can remember, and my journey as a soul reader began at the age of forty, after five years of painting with my non-dominant left hand. This practice profoundly enhanced my intuition. In 2008, I created the Lefty Oracle deck and began offering intuitive soul readings, touching many lives in profound and playful ways.

Are you ready to make a shift in your life? A soul reading can help you make the changes you need to move forward, connect with your guides and find hope in dark times.