I'm painting on the last of the silk bolts as we speak. The bolts are left over from my silk painting days when I painted kimonos, wall hangings, scarves, ties and artwork using silk dyes and gutta on silk.

It's so dark outside today with the rain, it feels sooo un-Californian. Plus it's cold in here and gloomy. We are spoiled by the hot, dry sun and although I'm a native Southern Ontario girl at heart I do believe this Cali place has me hooked.

I sink into a wall of digital, electronic sound... Boards of Canada (but they aren't Canadian!).

This painting is perfectly balanced, and I don't wanting to disturb it's perfect presence, to unbalance the contours, the forms, the lack of focus.

Ahhhh...the freedom of abstract painting, I can feel it in my bones. I'm seeing a link between my left hand drawing, becoming a psychic, learning to trust my intuition, desire for music without words and abstract painting. There is a deepening of everything.

Everything is perfectly level, all planes are even. Why should I disrupt this space? What's missing? THE FEMALE FORM, emotion, pathos, misery, blood and guts and beauty in the wreckage, the lone female voice crying out. For that I need Tori (Amos)

"And I wondered when will I learn guess I was in Deeper than I thought I was if I have enough love for the both of us "just stay". From "Strange" by Tori Amos

I am fighting to say alive emotionally.

Musical Ambiance: Boards of Canada ~ "The Campfire Headphase", Air, Milosh, Tori Amos ~ "Scarlet's Walk"